And Back!

I stopped. But then today the urge is too strong. Its like smoking.

I shopped today and bought this awesome piece of lace about which i have to speak it out. Lifestyle is a good store overall but i was pleasantly surprised to see the lingerie section. Leagues better than competition. 3 - 4 brands on the outer but the collection is mind blowing.

I had gone to buy a skirt and landed up with one more bra. The thing is simple white baclonette with a lace post half cup. The lace is white with deep pink tiny flowers and the center support is the same lace. A steal at 1400 inr.

I dont love(able) you anymore.

I just had to say this... i have lost all respect for Lovable. I mean what kind of jerks do they think we are to buy that old freakin design rechristened as encircle? And i will be damned if anyone can say that the fit is good. Shitty is the word. I spent a stupid 700 bucks on this super cute leaf green lace thing with dark green flowers on it just to find that they have lost all idea of the kind of fit they used to create.

Please stop buying lovable. better fits available and lower prices.

Goodbye.....

I always used to wonder why do i not have any female readers except a few. An author, who's work i greatly admire pointed out that "it is eminently titillating". I did not want this blog to be an extension of Nancy Friday (with due respect to her). And thus i bid farewell to all those who have supported and cheered here.

I will be deleting the post maybe in a few days.....still can't muster the strength.

All the regulars... i know you guys personally well enough to not need this blog to communicate. I can always spam your comments box.

Thank you. Goodnight and goodbye.

What is lingerie... to me?

Over a period of time i have realised that men and women both think of lingerie as a just another piece of clothing. This scares the living daylights out of me, coz for me its more much more.

A bra is just not cotton and some elastic to help breasts fight gravity. Its like a lover. I remember the first time was asked to put one on. Till the time a girl actually has to start wearing, there is this thought in mind --- how will it be? How does it feel... is it too tight? Is it cloistering? Will it keep me warm?The initial days are like a honeymoon.. the newly acquired gate pass to womanhood. And then like most relationships, it gets taxing and demanding. Some days one feels like leaving the bra stacked up in a corner and to just be free..let the tender skin breath..feel the bounce. But, by then you are so used to support that the sudden freedom is tough to enjoy.

Like a lover, the bra holds me, soft and tender with a gentle pressure. With my breathing its rubs or sooths the sensitive skin. Like a lover, you take up the wrong one and it leaves a dirty scar on you.

I have to write on this and i want to... but i cant. I blame him, and the way in which its put..damn. This post is stuck in my head and rousing my demons. I had promised myself that this will not be my corner and please kick me if i ever do. But right now i just cant think. I shall complete the post soon. So long.

Update: I thought i was at my worst.. till i read this. If i ever get around to talking to this man, I sure as hell will scream like Janice (friends fame) in his ears... no make that laugh like her.

Whew!!!

Whew! Today i undertook the gargantuan task of cleaning my Lingerie shelf. Tough job i must say. I was amazed to some of the contents and irritated with a few others.

In the entire process i realised a few things
1. Lovable should bring down the quality of the product if they want to survive in the Indian market. I still have a lovable, my first lovable bought on March 23, 2001 from a store called Red Rose in Vashi. I mean i always thought that i had thrown it, but no there it was, soft and gazing at me like a long lost lover. I was in the last sem of my mba. My aunt had introduced me to the pleasures of lingerie. On my birthday she had bought me a Juliet number trimmed with lace and another item by i forget who. I did not like the second one much and thus went and got the lovable. It has lasted for over six years and the cloth is still as soft. I bought my second lovable in july 2001 from my first salary. I can never forget the kick i got that day and at times i still get when i put on a piece that I had been eyeing for sometime.

2. A delicate bra wrapped in tissue paper stays good for long. I had a pink coloured triumph made of delicate lace and this straps. Like all the other good bras that are not part of daily circulation, this was bundled in tissue paper and boy did it feel good or what.

3. I Use things carefully and thus end up not using them at all. Coming from a modest background, buying an expensive bra which ranges above the average couple of thousands needs to be treated rather with care. I had bought this most amazing black baclconette in sheer tissue fabric with red roses embroidered on it. made by a french designer, i bought it from a lingerie boutique in bandra. After having paid a bomb (ol man still thinks is a bomb.) i kept it carefully and now i realise, to my chargin, that i have rarely worn it. I think its time to bring it out more often.

It's late in the night and i can't remember more... Maybe i shall post a few more things tomorrow. So long.......

Play safe as mercy drops fall all around us....

I was sitting in the car as the rain drummed hard on the roof of the car. And from somewhere a girl came and stood at the bus stop about a 10 meters from the car. When i saw her i realised what a spectacle she had made of herself standing in the sheer kurta and the rain plastering it to her.

I, of all the people on planet earth, am not against a bra showing. Whats the big deal? But then the rules are simple it has to be a good bra and the seeing has to be natural and not a desperate attempt to attract attention. But having said that, i think in rains it makes sense to be careful. Some tips that could be used :

1. Try and wear a slip or a camisole under transparent top.
2. Avoid very fine lace under diaphanous clothes.
3. Always and always wear light, neutral tones or nude colours under light coloured clothes.
4. Avoid padded bras, they take a long time to dry in case you get wet on your way to work or college. Instead used under wired bras.
5. Keep and extra pair of underwear in your bag.
6. Buy some extra pairs and keep. Since drying takes longer, spares help. Wearing slightly wet bras cause major irritation and leave dirty elastic marks .
7. Please wash all new coloured lingerie before u wear it. Just in case it bleeds. And one should always wash new lingerie as stores these days allow trials.

On that note...happy monsoons.

Punishment Writing

Well last time i did a tag and this time i am writing a note as a punishment for a lost argument. Yeah yeah even Alexander lost ones in a while and so did i. Now lets not get into the gory details of what that argument was all about (it was not about Bras, so we can safely skip) but the outcome is this post.

I have already agreed to not using words such as perv, dork, observant, drug peddler and a few more... so ... just assume them. OK?

I lost this argument to one of the most intelligent and humorous men i have ever had the pleasure to meet. His seriousness span is not more than 2 seconds and still he says the gravest of things and passes them as humour. Elephant like ears and shining bright eyes make him look like a good example of the human species. He has this capacity to make anyone feel special (yeah actually and he does that for free. Want contact numbers ? kindly leave the request in comments). He will laugh at himself to ensure u smile and your worries are gone.

OK, i had to say a few good things so i did. Now am free to bitch ...

You dog !!! Next time when you lose am gonna make you write a 1000 word essay on my good looks as a punishment..(you see this would demand a lot to imagination and hard work coz there is nothing to write about. )

But, as always, thanks YOU!

Help Needed!!

The comments moderation is activated on this blog for obvious reasons. But it irks me to see the comments of the regular visitors getting stuck for moderation. Can anyone please suggest a way of having to moderate the first comment only?

Update: I have removed the comments moderation from this blog. :).

Finally!!!

I don't understand what they are. But since patrix, my fellow marathi manus tagged me and Pavan batted his eyelids (now who can resist that), here i am doing one more thing in life for the first time - playing the tag game.

Being a simple and sweet girl that i am (twisted...dare you disagree) i have a HUGE list of crazy things about me. Lets start with some good points...

1. I know all of you have wondered about my *lingerie addict* status. Yes, I am a self confessed lingerie addict especially bras. I have over 25 of them and i don't even want to start ranting on the types. But if i am fair to my *lovables* i have almost all styles and colours. Its a difficult addiction to understand and i know so coz my old man hasn't understood it as yet.

2. I am a die hard martini and scotch buff. Martini has to be extra dry with two olives and just about one cube of ice. And if you have green olives on the sides to nibble, life is heaven. In scotch my all time fave is the royal salute but since i can't afford it daily, i like Chivas regal and the glen series.

3. I cannot for the love of god live without eating fish. If i don't eat fish for over a week, i start feeling unwell. I cannot type this without my tummy rumbling for tisrya, and surmai and bombil...yumms.

4. Contrary to my image here, i do pooja daily. I have toto faith in ganpati bappa.

5. I have been with the same man for the last 6 years. I never thought it possible and i still think its impossible to live with him, but 6 years later..here i am.

6. I am a maharashtrian and no i cannot read or write marathi. Apologies in advance to the marathi manus gang.

7. I hate men who think a woman should not drink or smoke. Such hypocrisy!!!! Someone should stick their cigarette butts where the sun don't shine.

I had to do only 7 (patrix baba said so) and yipppeee i did it.

Now for those people who have made wise cracks and those who have been sweet ... you are tagged and here is the list.

Rule - post 8 random facts about yourself.

Pavan - tujhe kya laga .... tu bach jayega?
Us and them - you are always a buddy.. i would really like to know 8 facts
Priya - this is going to be fun.
Itchingtowrite - it cannot be about the twins babes.
Rahul - SWOT or PERT or fish-bone studies will not be accepted.
Twisted - you had to be here.
Prats --papi..... yeah number late dene ke liye.
QLC - you are the sweetest friend ever.

Porn categories - strap flaunting tan and no tan

I had gone to meet my mother over the weekend. When i came back all the links in the windows address bar were gone except for my fave 5. A lil Sherlock homes-giri showed that some tremendous amount of porn was downloaded. Now what kind of a man does that?? Well mine just did. Aghast when i asked him what shit is this... i got a sweet smile and check it out yourself for an answer. Knowing how would i react to certain categories he had clearly slotted - strap tan and no tan. Now that was cute. Thank you Ol Man for the tip.

That brings us to the topic of the day - strap marks and uneven tanning.

I don't even want to start on tan due to chlorine. Its sticks like freakin areldite. Exceptionally tough to get rid of, this type of tan can be best avoided by using Nivea sunscreen and the right costume. Not much can be done top your legs coz more or less the exposure is the same. But, the shoulder and back can be tinkered with.

The safest bet is the zip-up full back and neck speedo. only arms are bare and the tan looks like a normal indian sun-tan. Now for the more adventurous kinds who wear a bikini to swim, please accept my best wishes. The exposure or the consistency of exposure can be maintained. Try to wear a strapless (a slim piece please, else the uneven tan looks very bad, especially there) or a transparent strap, or a slightly lose halter fit.

Slightly lose transparent strap even tanning and the distance between the strap and the skin allows water to circulate leading to a lighter tan. A halter top with very thin string around the neck gives the shoulders a uniform tan.

So much for tan ....

A Man's Plight!

I always thought that not enough space was dedicated to lingerie in a store. Here is a different and humorous perspective by desitrain.

"Walk into a typical American clothing store. Target. Robinsons May. Macy’s. Nordstrom’s. Costco. Walmart. K-Mart. Whatever store that you would like to go – doesn’t matter. Walk to the men’s section which occupies 0.05% space of the entire store. So you walk through 99.95% of the length of the store, brushing through designer bras, designer panties, designer lingerie, more bras more panties, more multi colored lingerie, more lacy underwear and then you stop and think – How many fucking bra and panties do women change in a single day? "

I suggest read the full post here. Its a laugh riot.

Update: Pavan , Thanks for the link.

The Glow Worm Effect.

I went bowling day before yesterday and this post started brewing since then (please don't question the existence of straps in the story). I really do not understand why they would do it, but they switched on this light that made everyone look like glow worms (remember those cute bedside glowing airmails). And then as i looked around i couldn't help but laugh. All these girls dressed in their summer special white and pastels looked like parle -g orange Candy... transparent wrappers. And their sad lingerie shone through in the light.


All sorts of patterns, ripped seams on the back, leopard print under a white top (i wonder what that girl was thinking when she wore that) everything stood out and screamed. I don't blame those girl. Someone at home should have taught them, but then the knowledge and the need to talk is appalling. So here are some basic rules about matching lingerie (especially now that monsoons are coming and wet clothes mostly are no clothes.



1. White under white and black under black. Please don't mix them and look like desperate-for-attention kind of a woman. You could also use skin/nude colours/ flesh toned innerwear.

2. Please ensure that bra is always in good condition. Many women are of the philosophy of "why waste money when it cannot be seen".

3. Wear the right fit so that the look is a pleasant one.

4. Be confident. Its not a crime for your bra to be seen.

5. When in doubt wear a camisole or short slip.Under very flimsy clothes that look ok under light.

6. And for please Do NOT wear printed lingerie under sheer coloured clothing or whites. ]

I cant recollect more points right now. Will add them as and when i can remember. Please feel free to add your valuable suggestions.

I have no clue who wears them.

I have written about padded bras and cotton pads to hide pebbled nipples, but today as i went digging in a store, i found something funny to push me to write on the topic again. Nipple enhancer. No its not the one used during pregnancy to help pulling out flat nipples. To me it looked like a corn cap or a round band aid. Honestly, am not joking.

I asked the sales lady what it was and she looked at me as though i had asked her whats the eaxct population of Australia. She simply pulled out the box and kept it on the counter. It read something like this
"Nipple enhancer - to make your nipple stand out under tight clothes or bras.

Pulling up my dropped jaw and toning down my mba brains i simply gave the only guy in the store my sweetest smile and asked does anyone actually buy this? To which he smirked and said that's the last piece madam. all sold out.

As i walked out of the store, i wondered if i have become old or is the fashion going wonky but i promptly decided on the former. I for the love of god would never walk into a nightclub looking like a sex-starved-pointed-nipple teenager coz trust me even i blind man would not agree if i said i was cold... yeah its that grotesque.

Anyways, so, maybe the fashion is to look perennially aroused. Good. The mating call could never have been clearer. And no am not old, its just that i don't like the idea of walking around with corn caps over me. :P.

For those few who have been kind and asked where i was... i was home convalescing from a surgery. All well now and am back.

The Pregnancy Bra!!!

"I cant recognise my breasts anymore... they are so HUGE." This line is said and heard by most pregnant women.

Breasts increase as much as three cup sizes at times in pregnancy and the whole experience is not a picnic. The increased amount of estrogen and progesterone causes the breasts to swell making them tender. Although the tenderness reduces after the first three or four months.

Now the billion dollar question : will they sag?
Answer: Depends on you. Sagging is most often caused due to lack of support during pregnancy.

How can it be avoided?
NO matter how firm the breasts are, prevention is better than cure and therefore you should wear a good support bra. If the breasts are huge, try wearing a night-support bra.

A support bra is more or less close to the soft full cup bra in design but with some additional features. These features include supportive fabric, extra soft elastic, broader sides and back and a deeper center front.

For the night support you will probably find a soft stretchy cotton sports bra extremely comfy and light.

There is no rule that one has to wear the drab softy bras when pregnant. Stores these days carry lots of options for pregnancy bras which are styled. A store that i would rate 20 on 10 is Mothercare. Those pink and blue polka dotted bras are absolutely cute and they come in sets.

Now some thumb rules of bras and pregnancy:
1. Always support your breasts. They are undergoing a huge change (no pun intended) and therefore need to be looked after.
2. Always buy soft bras as the tissue by itself is tender.
3. Its crucial to be examined every six to eight weeks as the breast size changes frequent upto the 36th week.
4. Avoid using underwired bras when pregnant and nursing .. i know the whole support great support thing but then the wire may press into the delicate breast tissue and therefore can cause pain. One may not be able to identify this pain as the breasts are already tender.

For the male readers, kindly share this information with the lady as uncomfy breasts are a cause of major irritation when pregnant and and after delivery if the breasts sag.

More to come on nursing bras soon.

Can a bra give you a headache? - By Anonymus

This post was sent viz email by reader. Its a completely different post, but, extremely entertaining. I hope you all enjoy this as much as i did.

Thanks YOU for sharing this bit!

I got home at 6 yesterday and invaded the couch. I was trying to set a new record in fast-channel-flipping when W got home from work and goes "We need to go shopping". That dreaded sentence!She said "I need to buy bras". That was comforting. How hard can buying a bra be. I was proved wrong after 2 1/2 hours.

So we go to Macys. W went from aisle to aisle, examining each one with the keenness a gem merchant would reserve for the rarest of gems.I need to give you little intro on Indian women. Indian women like to use the bras they bought in India. Each time they go to visit India they bring back with them a dozen bras. Those things look ugly, make the wearer look out of shape and leave a ghastly scar on the back. But somehow Indian women love to use them. I guess the choice of bras they get in the US intimidates them!W was like that for the first two years she was in the US. After some persuasion I was able to make her switch to American bras. I mistake that dearly cost me in the coming years. Even after she switched, she would only select one of those Indian-bra-look-alikes that are "decent" and ugly.

So, here we are. As she seemed perplexed, I offered some valuable suggestions of my own showing her some of my picks. Her answer would be one of these:
"That has cross-straps"
"Where are the straps?"
"Wrong cup size"
"You know who uses that kind of red bra?"
"That is TRANSPARENT"
"What is this?!!"
"You wish" (darn!)"
"That's a nursing bra and you would know if I were nursing"
"That is padded"

After 2 hours, she trying 25 bras and 4 "customer service agents" asking me if I needed help, she finally found the holy grail of all bras. When I pointed out to her that what she picked was transparent and she had rejected one of my suggestions for that reason earlier. She answered the question with a simple logic, "But this is black, duh!"

Well, the story didn't end there. After dinner, she did a little modeling for me in the bra. Then went to the mirror, looked at herself for about 3 minutes and asked the question to the effect of "Do I look fat in this".

Excellent reads

Niket had added these two to the comments. Not only are they good reads, but give great tips as well.

Excellent tips from a BRA wizard.

Fitting Tips

There is more to Bras than the one your granny bought!

Having understood the basics about bras, ladies its time we looked at the various types. For two reasons.

1. All our clothing cannot be worn with the same bra.
2. Our men like variety... it keeps the fire burning.

Strapless Bras
Here men will agree.... a good strapless top and a bra strap kills the effect. If you want a strap or don't know that strapless exists, lady you have to right to wear a strapless top. Indispensable under strapless tops and tricky party dresses, a strapless bra deserves a place in every wardrobe.

It’s important, though, to get the tension right: too loose, and it won’t give you enough support; you feel scared that it may just spill the beans. Or too tight and it will pull itself down the ribcage plus you feel chocked through out the party.

Many multi way bras have detachable or clear straps and can be worn as a strapless bra as well as a halter neck or with the straps crossed over at the back. Most unobtrusive of all – the latest self-adhesive solutions that you simply stick to the body. (recommended for smaller cup sizes). We shall discuss it some time later.

Push up Bras
Being a woman i understand the anxiety attack that we get at times when we look at our cleavage in the neckline. My experience says that having a good cup size does not solve the problem alone. A cleanly defined and well organized (damn my mba brains) cleavage looks more appealing any day. The solution is a good push-up bra. It’s designed to push breasts inwards and upwards to create a better cleavage under those plunging necklines.

Balconette
A balconette (one of my all time faves) is a very sexy style of bra with a low neckline that goes straight across the bust. It has wide set straps for a square neckline. The cups are seamed to push the bust upwards to give a shelf like appearance similar to the look created by a corset. Non padded balconettes create less of a cleavage than the padded versions, but they still have a square neckline. On larger cup sizes the neckline may be higher

These bras are good typically under our Utsav kind of blouses under diaphanous sarees. Am sure the male readers with their active imagination will agree. ;-).

T shirt Bra
I have said it before and repeat - If you think that you have the bust and the tummy to pull off a tight tee..... please don't ruin the look by wearing a normal bra with seams on the cups. The most disgusting things to look at are seams on the cups and loose cups to make matters worse. If you have it, flaunt it and flaunt it right.

The solution is a t-shirt bra. Like a moulded bra (So-called because the cup is moulded from a single piece of foam or fabric – so that it’s seamless), a t-shirt bra’s cups are seamless. What makes it a t-shirt bra is the thickness: a t-shirt bra has a level of padding to ensure that your nipples do not show through when you’re wearing a figure hugging top.

Half Cup bra
It’s the one where the cup stops just above the nipple. One could wear it under the low cuts or can be flaunted on of those special nights.

Also known in the US as a demi bra, it is generally more suitable for smaller cup sizes. However, larger cup brands are becoming increasingly skilled at creating supportive bras that give a good impression of a half cup.

Soft cup bra
A soft cup bra is one without an underwire. Maternity bras are always soft cup as there is increase in the size of the breast plus invariably breasts are tender and hurt. That reminds me..... my tomorrows post will be on maternity bras as that is one time when bras become boring.

Similarly when you buy a bra for teenagers stick to soft cups, since it is the growth period. For larger women be it a large cup size or large backs, finding an underwired bra to fit is a little tough. Soft cups are a better option than cramming in a smaller size. If you think that a soft cup bra is necessarily less supportive than its underwired sister – you are mistaken. Heavily constructed soft cup bras can be very supportive indeed (triumph makes them the best).

Minimizer Bras
I have always hated ready made shirts – reason.. i always felt that the buttons looked strained if i buy my exact size. Wearing a size bigger killed the look. That's when my roommate introduced me to Minimizer bras. These bras are designed with a specific need in mind: how do you deal with those gaping tops?

The bra uses simple rule of physics not that i understand the rule but it redistributes the breast tissue or the mass so that breasts do not protrude so much – and you can do up your shirt buttons...Huff Finally.

Sports bra
For all those sports, dance and etc enthusiasts.... news flash! The breasts are supported by the Coopers ligaments, which stretch when you exercise. This can cause them to sag (no they don't become bigger!) – and the bad news is that once this happens, they will never recover.
A good sports bra, however, can cut breast movement by over 50 per cent.

What to look for? A sports bra is designed to provide both comfort and support. Seamless cups
and cushioned fastenings will stop the bra chafing against your skin, while moisture-wicking fabrics

will help keep you cool. As for support, look for wide, non-stretch straps, racer backs and multi-hook fastenings – a sports bra with no fastenings will have more stretch, which makes it less supportive. Most sports bras have a support level rating and are recommended for different sporting activities. Always check that you have the correct the level for your chosen sport to ensure that you are properly supported – and as comfortable as possible.

Bra Types..... Awesome read.

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.

''What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?

''Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types.

The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?

'The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

Source: www.jokesandhumor.com

PS: This also reminds me to write a post on "how to buy your girl a bra."... but not today. Today i need to do my shopping.

Raunchy, sexy, and intimate: Corsets are the ultimate (outer)underwear item.

How does a corset look?
Women: Its Rani's black strapless in Mitwaa.
Men: What the French maid wears.
In case you don't know both, look at the pic.

Corsets, a core fashion piece of lingerie has been the foundation of women's fashion for centuries (literally as well). Historically the corset has always been a woman's underwear support, which was boned and close fitting and usually hooked and laced.

The corset starts either above or just below the bust and continues down to the waist or below the hips, generally with garters attached to its base making it amazingly sexy. The corset has effectively evolved into a body-shaper (how do u think Kate Winslet got that hour glass figure?), derived from sportswear, and featuring under-wiring of the breasts and elasticized control panels with popper fastenings at the crotch (doesn't that sound close to some hi-tech gaming device?... only more fun! ;-) ).

Closer to corset, a Basque is the name given to any tight-fitting bodice garment worn by women. The bustier on the other hand is a bosom-to-hip corset-like garment, usually trimmed in lace. Other features can include detachable garters, flexible boning, shoulder straps, and lace-up closing.

Corset comes with a a whole list of benefits like smaller waist and support to the back in case the back troubles. For large-breasted women corsets can be more comfortable than bras, because the weight of the breasts is carried by the whole corset than the brassiere's shoulder straps. Straps can chafe or cut the skin... i know love bites look alike .... but they are mighty uncomfy.

While the corset was the most intimate of women's underwear, it has become the flamboyant, rebellious and sexy 'underwear as outerwear', associated with fantasy and eroticism by the end. Ladies , your men love to see these. They are made from myriad of fabrics and materials including, lace, fine cotton, eyelet lace (broderie anglaise), matte and shiny silk and silk imitations, crepe de chine, georgette, and satin as well as more modern materials such as lycra, leather and rubber. So depending on what you two enjoy more.... get one.

It can be worn as a top for sarees, jeans or skirts. Any of the good boutiques have a good collection. These corsets mostly have side zips to make it more secure.. although i honestly wonder how.

Let me stick to lingerie use of this amazing piece Its a shame not have one ....... if not for daily wear..get one for occasional night wear.

Is the bra right? Men - pay close attention.

After have been through LP, lets see what you have is right or no.


Gentlemen, you can notice if what your girl has is wrong...just don't tell her. I mean it would like someone telling you that your jock is torn and your fly is open..by that obnoxious boss of yours. We hate to be told functional details by someone who does not have boobs. Period!!!! Instead, send her the link.... ensure that u add some fake fwd add below....some woman's preferably or she will always be conscious of you “looking”. To win brownie points...ask - what was that post about sweety?

So, lets get going:

1. The bra should fit snugly around and not dig into the breast. Or for observers- not flatten as though they have been taped back.

2. One should be able to fit one or two fingers under the band comfortably. One thing that even the observer can do ;-). And ladies you could ask your......ok cut cut...i know u can figure the rest out.


3. If the cup's fabric is wrinkled? If yes, then that bra is big.

4.The weight of the bust is supported by the shoulder strap. They should be neither too tight that they leave a red mark (which could look like an awesome love bite.. NOT BAD!) nor too loose that they drop from the shoulders without as much as a slight nudge from the mister. Straps can be adjusted...so do that. Also, it could be that the cups may be too small, pulling the bra downward and creating tension in the straps.

5.The center section between the cups should lie flat on the chest.

6.Breasts should never bulge or spill out of the cups. Although at times...just for restricted viewing it cud look cute.

7.Bra should not leave lines or marks on skin after prolonged wear. Love bites look cuter ..any day and am sure mister will happily oblige.

8.The band is riding up the back. The band is either too large or needs to be tightened. Adjust so it's not so loose or look at a a smaller size.

9.If the bust is spilling over or bulging under the cup- the sight is downright ugly!.Be happy woman....you need a bigger cup size.

10.Wire in the bra is digging in or poking?Your boobs need space in that cup lady and when they don't get it ...like jello they start filling the cup in corners, and thus the digging wire. Please make yourself comfy and mister proud ...get a bigger cup size and remember to tell him.

That's all for the day. Men... you could thank me by buying your girls some good Lingerie.

Rediff..............I LOVE YOU

From the time i have read the Q&A section..... i am addicted to it.

Here is the Q&A of the day:

Q: does skipping regularly makes the breasts of a female heavier n bulging??
A: i knew someone who used to wear a sports bra,if u want them that way,i don't think skipping will help. (how I wish that was true.... damn i used to wear one and JOG and am no Aunty P...WTF?)

Shall post my usual gyaan..... during the day. Till then.... happy skipping ;-).

My take on love and bras.....

"A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one."
Mae West

Well....... JUST like the right bra ladies.

Please for BRAS' sakes ask me!!!! I want to hide...

Rediff has a Q&A section and one can find all sorts of questions there. I wanted to read what are they saying about bras. I don't know which is the worst question and which is the worst answer. Check some of them out:

Q1. why women wears bra?
A:
1. It helps them to hold their breast in right position while they walk or in their daily routine work and also improve their personality for 'Beauti & Fashion Look'. (how does a bra improve personalty.... i need some gyan here)
2. Its like holder (yeah....coffee cup holder)
3. secure in open view and Maintain in Good position (sounds like a mutual fund!)

Please kill me!

Q2. is sports bra useful for normal female?
A:
1. Yes
2. No

The answer is excellent :
Q3. who discover bra? what is full form of b. r.a??when women thought she needs bra?
Ans: Ask your girlfriend.

Q4: use of pads r safe in bra by female?
A:
1. yes offcourse it is very much safe and comfortable also. It gives very good shape to a lady clothes.
2. safe or not cant say but unsafe for girl's virginity.(yes...pads are made of neon sign stating DO ME!)

Ohh BOY!!!! I am speechless.

Whats your size?

Dear readers...I know that i did not keep my promise of writing and disappeared. Reasons poor health and too many medicines.

Well... now that i am back lets start.

I had promised i would take a class on Liner Programming (measuring up for a bra for those lazy bums who haven't read the posts below).

Before we get you measured, you need to identify your breast type first and thereafter the bra type, - shallow, average or full. In my experience the best way is to ask the man or your partner (the problem is that the answers can vary vastly depending on the timing ....before or after THE thing) ...second and more reliable way is to stand in front of the bathroom mirror and look at the reflection and see which category you ft into.
Shallow Breasts - tend to drape in the lower cup may require a bra with a smaller cup or a push-up style.
Average Breasts have an equal distribution in the cup and a rounder appearance.
Full Breasts have the most round appearance and require a bra that provides both lower-cup support and support and coverage for the upper part of the breasts.

We all express (and ask) the breast size in terms of the size of the bra.
How to derive that ...... Now comes the rant on LP
Lets take it one step at a time and in the bathroom without your existing bra on..... (men please stop visualizing the HR lady!)

1.You need to take 2 measurements. All the sizes are represented in inches these days so ensure that the reading is taken on the same scale. I told you its some science.

2.The first of the circumference of the body with the tape being placed under the breasts right where the band of your existing bra comes. Add 5 or 6 inches to this measurement in order to get to an even number (number being the ones ending in 0,2,4,6,8). This provides the "band size." Alternatively you could measure under the arms and across the top of the breasts, rounding up to an even number, if necessary. But i prefer the first one, its less complicated and more or less always accurate.

3.In the second measurement, repeat the step two but including the breasts at the level of your nipple.

4.The first result is then subtracted from the second. A difference of 1 inch requires an A cup size; 2 inches, a B cup; 3 inches, a C cup; and 4 inches, a D cup. Now f your band size is 36 inches, and measurement over the breasts is 38 inches, you should be wearing a bra size of 36B.

Larger cup sizes can be confusing, but here are some pointers: the sizes proceed through the alphabet with a letter and a double letter for each inch difference. Eg: A 5 inch difference is either a DD or an E cup. There is essentially no difference between them, but some manufacturers are hesitant to use the "E" size fearing that it sounds too large, and therefore use "DD" because it sounds less imposing.

Yes i know and i agree that many large cup variants are not available easily in India. More often than not the stocks end at D and then one is expected to move to the next band size. But maybe one could identify vendors who could get the same ordered. I think one should not hesitate to ask for the right bra. We all are made differently and should be amazingly proud of our assets......well i am.

Having given you the shpeil, the most trusted way to find success is through trial and error. Trust me ladies BRAS are so much like men. One has to try ten to get the right one and if you hurry and choose the wrong one, you would be horribly uncomfy thereafter. You could find out the size and then try out to get the right fit. Also, the problem is that at times the type of bra and the label make different fits for the same size.

So much for today.... lets meet up tomorrow for some pointers to check if what you have is right. Till then a Very Happy V Day to all.

Continued... What's in a bra?

Let me start from where i left... the goof-ups and how to avoid them...

4. Pebbled Nipples are not embellishments!!! Having worked in a freezingly cold air conditioned office myself, I know I used to look perennially aroused (and when I was, a sensible guy would think i was feeling cold!). But then i realized (and soon by god's grace) that not only does it look odd; it looks rather unappealing, taking any flare away from the expensive office wear. I agree that thickest of cotton bras do not do the needful, however a hard cup bra can do the trick (it is seamless, gives great shape, and also looks better than the normal ones). It is not a hard cup; it’s the normal stuff that is sold as a push-up or a seamless bra. Such bras also give the illusion of a fuller bust. For those who have fuller busts and padded may be over the top, try using simple pads made at home with industrial soft gauze and absorbent cotton ... just place them strategically.

5. Low cut outfits DEMAND well defined (not necessarily deep) cleavage and NO bra please! It looks silly to wear a low cut and then continuously keep pulling it up to cover the peeping bra. Instead, go for a demi-cup which is a contoured bra, together with underwire with the cups cut away to reveal the top of the breast. Any decent lingerie store should carry these. Labels such as Lovable and Triumph also sell them.

6. I don't have enough!!!! All of us (Aunt P Anderson is not US) have wondered at some point or another…do I have enough? My experience with the darker sex tells me that what each of us has is enough so long as we maintain it and keep it good. If you still feel the need to make your boobs bigger at least give them a fuller look, use a Push-up bra that has additional padding at the bottom portion of the cup, which lifts the bosom and gives the illusion of a fuller bust. If you have breasts that start high up on the chest....try to avoid a push up.... they will stare into people's faces.

Dear readers, going forward you can count on the useful, edgy, sometimes funny but always truthful insights on lingerie from yours truly. Make sure to pass it on to all your friends, male and female, that are dumbfounded by the mystery we call lingerie. Until tomorrow….

What's in a BRA?

Now ladies, lets get one thing clear. The function of a bra is not only to help your boobs fight gravity but to give a good look to the outfit that one is wearing, bringing a sensible combination of modesty and sensuality to an outfit.

How many of you know what a BRA (aka Brassier) really is??

To give you some gyan the word brassière is derived from bracière, an Old French term defined as "arm protector”, referring to military uniform (bras in French means "arm"). The term later was used for a military breast plate, and subsequently for a type of woman's corset.

A brassiere, or bra, is a piece of women's underwear consisting of two cups totally or partially covering the breasts primarily for support. There are many variants to the good ol' traditional bra like a shelf bra or a demi bra. Functionally, we have been told over the years by garment manufacturers that bras help prevent sagging of the breasts, although, in recent studies, no evidence has been found to sustain the notion that sagging is lowered over lifetime of a woman without a bra than with one.

"…wearing a bra…has no medical necessity whatsoever... Except for the women who find bras especially comfortable or uncomfortable, the decision to wear or not wear one is purely aesthetic--or emotional... If you don't enjoy it, and job or social pressures don't force you into it, don't bother”
– an excerpt from Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, by Dr. Susan Love

So if you have been holding yourself tight because your granny said that you'll SAG.... don't worry.. just go ahead and let loose (pun intended).

Having thus far been politically correct in my rant on bras, lets look at all the ridiculous things we do with one of the best things the French have given us .... (besides the kiss of course!) and how to avoid them.

1. Women if you are a 36C and think you are a 36B .... you are not. Trying to cram into a smaller bra size (and no am not talking of a minimizer).... makes the bust look flat, not to mention the unappealing look of the excess bulges from the side; and its amazingly uncomfortable (this is for you to know Mr. Reader). The strategy should be to get yourself a good fit. Although there are established methods for measuring a woman for a bra, the only real way to fit a bra is by trying them on, and finding the correct size by trial and error. Having said that ladies, measuring for a bra is as scientific as linear programming (I could only think of LP because I was never able make heads or tails of it). There is a set procedure and conversion guidelines that can be used to come up with the perfect fitting number. I shall detail the procedure in my next post... but remember this..... you cannot make a square peg go in a round hole without: 1) losing its original shape and 2) making it look incredibly sorry.

Please do a BIG favor for your breasts, your self esteem and the men who are ogling ...forget about trying to cram into smaller sizes. Trust me, you'll look a lot better, feel a lot more comfy and be much more appetizing to any man if you wear the right bra.

2. If you think that you have the bust and the tummy to pull off a tight tee..... please don't ruin the look by wearing a normal bra with seams on the cups. The most disgusting things to look at are seams on the cups and loose cups to make matters worse. If you have it, flaunt it and flaunt it right. Try buying a seamless bra or even a normal sports bra will do.


3.Strapless bras exist!!! If you think that showing an old faded bra strap or a cheap see-through plastic strap will put you in the first row at fashion events, GET REAL! You will look like the biggest loser on the circuit. Please get yourself a good strapless..... and by good it needn't be expensive (try shopping at elco arcade at Bandra or Manish market at four bunglows Andheri W). You could also try a halter bra. In case you do not have many strapless outfits, you could look at bras that come with detachable straps. For those who can and love to indulge... you might like straps that are embellished.

So much for today.. lets meet tomorrow and look at the other blunders and how best to conquer them.